


Forever may not be long enough

by smaragdbird



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Missing Scene, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:34:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: When they return from the carnage that has been Carnivale, Crozier, not wanting to be alone, asks Jopson to sleep in the same bed as him, not as his commander but as his friend.Jopson, of course, obliges.Things escalate from there
Relationships: Francis Crozier/Thomas Jopson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	Forever may not be long enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/gifts).



> I've used the prompts 'missing scenes' and 'behind closed doors' from one of your old exchange letters for this ship.
> 
> I hope you don't mind

When he finally returned to Terror, Jopson was waiting for him with dinner – no meat thankfully, but one of the tinned vegetable soups. Despite there being more men on board than in the last month the ship seemed even quieter than before. Stanley’s deed had made even the most cheerful of them sombre and had turned a celebration into a funeral.

“Is there anything else you need, sir?” Jopson asked after he had cleared the plate and helped Crozier undress for the night. Both of them still smelled of smoke and burned flesh but there was no helping that for the moment.

Crozier hesitated, knowing that if he said nothing Jopson would return to his own cabin for the night, a place he had barely seen in the past few weeks. During Crozier’s withdrawal he had slept here, either in the great cabin or on a few occasions in Crozier’s bed out of comfort and practicality.

He knew he should let Jopson go. If anyone deserved a good night’s sleep, if anyone deserved peace and quiet, then it was Jopson. But after the day they’ve had the last thing Crozier wanted to be was alone. And perhaps Jopson felt the same way.

“Would you stay here tonight, please?” He asked, hoping that Jopson would understand he was asking for a favour and not issuing a command.

“Of course, sir.” Other than him Jopson did not hesitate. Earlier, when they had been trapped in the fire, he had not hesitated either. Jopson was an excellent steward but not the for the first time Crozier thought that he would’ve made an even better officer. 

Jopson dressed down to his shirt sleeves and Crozier lay down as close to the wall as possible even though the bed hadn’t been made with two people sleeping in it in mind.

“Thank you”, Crozier said when Jopson slipped under the covers next to him, only a few inches separating them.

“You’re welcome, sir.”

/

It was the heat that woke him that came from having another body pressed against his back though when his eyes first shot open, his nightmare-addled mind thought it was fire. He drew a sharp breath, his heart racing in his chest as he realised that the warmth behind him was Crozier and not the flames of the carnival tent coming to consume him.

It was not the first time Crozier had sought closeness in his sleep. Whether it was the need for warmth or the need for companionship, Jopson didn’t mind providing either. He could feel Crozier’s hard cock press against his backside and like before he did not dare to move. He didn’t want Crozier to wake up and feel embarrassed or maybe even notice that Jopson was just as affected by the situation as he was. 

Though he was under no illusion that Crozier felt like this because of him. He had been prime witness to Crozier’s courtship of Sophia Carcroft and how she had pulled him in only to push him away again. Still, if he closed his eyes, he could pretend just for a moment that Crozier wanted him as much as he did. 

When he felt Crozier move, Jopson held his breath as the hand Crozier had rested on his waist slipped dangerously low on his stomach. Crozier’s hard cock was pressing more insistently than before against Jopson’s arse, then sensation eased before it returned again.

Jopson dared to steal a quick glance over his shoulder but Crozier seemed fast asleep and completely unaware that he was grinding his hips against him. A dream then, probably about Sophia Carcroft Jopson couldn’t help but think. 

He had long since accepted that Crozier would never return his feelings, his desire. But--it was all too easy, so damnably easy, to hope for more, to desire more than what Crozier had to give. Jopson knew the futility in this, had silently accepted it, and to fall into the same damned trap once more was—

“Thomas.” His name fell from Crozier’s lips as the rhythm increased and it felt as if someone had pulled the air from his lungs because he couldn’t breathe. Maybe he was the one who was asleep and dreaming and it was Crozier who was trying to wake him up before he could embarrass them both.

The push of Crozier’s cock against his arse, his breath against his neck, the hand that rested so precariously and carelessly low on his stomach – every sensation seemed amplified through that one word from Crozier’s lips. His name.

/

Crozier’s dreams were hot and heavy like molasses and clung to his mind as he woke. For once he felt warm when he woke, and hungry, his body nearly screaming at him with need and his cock hard in his pants for the first time in over a year.

There was someone else with him in his bed, his hand resting on someone’s stomach, bare skin exposed beneath the tip of his ring finger. In the near darkness of his cabin, Crozier could see that Jopson’s face was turned towards him, pupils blown side wide that his eyes looked black, lips slightly parted.

He acted on instinct, moving forward to capture Jopson’s lips with his while pulling him back with the arm he had around his waist. Jopson went easily, melting around him like wax and happy to let Crozier take the lead.

Like a starving man at a feast, Crozier devoured him. His hands pushed greedily until they found bare skin, found Jopson’s equally hard cock and wrapped around it. Jopson’s legs went around his waist as he took them both in hand, grinding against him.

Jopson broke the kiss, gasping for air, which Crozier took as an opportunity to explore his jaw and neck with his mouth. He felt the rasp of stubble where Jopson hadn’t shaved today, the familiar scent, and he wanted to skin his teeth into it all. 

Hunger erupted throughout his body like flowers where Jopson’s hands clutched him, where his legs wrapped around Crozier’s waist, where their cocks rubbed against each other. Desire ran down his spine like current.

Slick, hot pre-come wetted his hand and he smeared their mouths together, catching Jopson’s desperate moan with his lips and swallowing it down. His body strained against Crozier’s grip on him as he climaxed like the sea against a ship but Crozier held against him until the tremors subsided. He glanced down at Jopson, who, even in the twilight of Crozier’s cabin, looked breathtakingly beautiful, and felt like he was back in his dreams. 

Jopson’s reached for him, drew him into a kiss so sweet it almost hurt even as his heels dug into Crozier’s arse, encouraging him to chase his own pleasure. Jopson’s stomach was slick with come, making it so easy to rut against him.

His own climax took him almost by surprise, crashing through him with the inevitability of a wave against a jagged shoreline. He broke the kiss, gasping his release in the hollow between Jopson’s neck and shoulder.

Crozier managed to hold himself up long enough that Jopson could unwrap his legs from his waist, before collapsing next to him on the narrow bed. They were both breathing hard, but the dreamlike quality of their coupling did not hold back the stark reality crashing in on him that he had just taken advantage of Jopson in the grossest manner possible.

Words of apology were already on his tongue when Jopson got up, pulled his pants up and wiped away the mess on his stomach with a rag from the wash basin. Which he wrung out and then carried back to the bed to clean up Crozier as well. His movements were no different from when he had done it during Crozier’s recovery and that made it only worse.

Jopson had done so much for him and this was how Crozier thanked him for it; by ravishing him in the middle of the night after one of their own had tried to kill them all. James it seemed had been right when he had accused Crozier of wanting to be the worst kind of first as well.

“I’ll return shortly with breakfast, Captain”, Jopson said as if nothing had happened at all.

And because Crozier was a coward at heart, he let him go without another word.

/

The entire day Jopson struggled to keep his composure. Part of him still couldn’t believe that it had actually happened though thinking about it for too long was liable to leave him flustered and in need to excuse himself. He had never slept with anyone else before and that after all these years of dreaming about it, it had been Crozier after all, made him giddy. 

He knew it had been something brought on by the moment, but Crozier had seemed to enjoy himself so perhaps he would not mind a repeat. Perhaps it was something he could add to his duties as Crozier’s steward.

Jopson glared at himself in the mirror as he shaved. He should not get his hopes up, nor pressure his captain into something he may not want. Last night had been under extraordinary circumstances. 

The day dragged on, the events at Carnival requiring a long and detailed command meeting, not only to due to Stanley’s deeds but also Crozier’s announcement that they would abandon the ships to make their way to Fort Resolute. It wasn’t until late at night that he and Crozier were the only ones left.

His heart started to beat faster when he noticed, forcing himself to keep calm as he tidied up around the great cabin. Crozier was still sitting at the desk, staring at maps of the Canadian main as if the distance would shrink if he glared hard enough.

A few strands of his hair were falling into Crozier’s face and the warm light from the oil lamps softened the traces of exhaustion that he carried with him even if he hadn’t let them show during the meetings today. Instead he had been the steady, clear-eyed Captain Jopson had known from Antarctica.

“It’s late, Jopson, you should go”, Crozier said as Jopson was about to reach for some books on the desk to put them back on the shelves.

Disappointment spread through his chest, but he knew he had been foolish to hope for more. “Will you call me if you need anything, sir?”

Crozier stood up and walked around the table until he stood next to Jopson. “I apologise.”

“What for?” Jopson frowned, puzzled by this turn of events.

“For last night”, Crozier said in a lower voice. “I took advantage of your loyalty and your friendship. I have nothing but my word to give to you that it will not happen again, and I understand if you’d prefer to transfer to Erebus.”

“With all due respect, sir, but that is not what happened”, Jopson was surprised by the determination with which he said those words. “I accept that last night’s circumstances were out of the ordinary, but you did not take advantage.”

“Whatever happened last night, I shouldn’t have – Regardless of the situation, it wasn’t appropriate and –“

Jopson had been telling himself no the whole day, that they couldn’t, that he shouldn’t and Crozier wouldn’t…He thought of himself as reasonably self-aware, but he was obviously wrong, because this was worse. He couldn’t stand in here and let Crozier say no.

“Appropriate or not, you can ask whatever you want of me”, Jopson interrupted him. 

“Thomas – “There it was again, his given name on Crozier’s lips was like a siren’s call.

“Please”, he could not stand to have Crozier call him by his given name again only to refuse him. “I am yours. I have been for years. I do not expect you to return my feelings but please, do not send me away.”

“I have done nothing to deserve you.” 

Crozier sounded so forlorn that Jopson could not stop himself. He leaned forwards, giving Crozier enough time to stop him if he wanted to, and kissed him. It was slower than last night but no less intoxicating. Jopson felt Crozier’s hand cup his face as he deepened the kiss, the way his tongue slid between Jopson’s lips enough to send shivers down his spine.

It was over too soon, leaving him breathless and hungry for more. 

“Let me stay”, he whispered, looking into Crozier’s eyes.

“For as long as you want to.”

Forever, then, Jopson didn’t say.

Forever.


End file.
